Marriage Customs in Utopia

Book II of Utopia discusses at great length several customs and social practices in its section on "Social Relations." Among these customs is the naked preview of males and females before marriage. This is apparently done in order to reduce the "risk of hating one another for the rest of their lives" (570). Now why would a place like Utopia (where people are supposedly encouraged to be tolerant of one another) encourage profound shallowness and how can one compare buying a piece of property (the colt story) with choosing one's spouse? This leads me to believe that perhaps the citizens of this strange society are not entirely valued as people and are likewise encouraged to treat each other in a business-like, dehumanizing manner. What is so terrible about compromising as a Utopian? Isn't that how we grow as individuals?

We are pretty much guaranteed to not always get what we want, and therefore we must learn to deal with life's little disappointments. Many of us have (or have had) in our minds an ideal mate - either in looks, personality, religion, job, etc. But it usually works out that the person we end up committing to doesn't have every single one of those qualities - and it also usually ends up working out wonderfully (I said usually). Personally, I'm glad we don't live in a perfectionist-type society (mostly because I'm not perfect I suppose). I like the fact that many marriages are based on love and compromise and not purely on physical attractiveness. How would it feel if your potential spouse had to view you naked and decided to leave you because you have cellulite or a big birthmark or small breasts or genitalia? How horrible would that be? I can understand arranged marriages and marriages of convenience, but I can't honestly understand what good could possibly come from shallowness and intolerance. The fact is that people age and grow and change. What may have pointed north in one's youth is sure to face south later in life. Hair falls out where it's wanted and grows where it's not. People gain weight. Looks change and often times things cease to function properly. Either Utopians were entirely ignorant of this simple fact of life, or they just didn't care. Either way, this practice seems utterly pointless and in fact detrimental to self-esteem and marriage.